Five things that I think are awful today

1. New York City - when a whole city is as pretentious as I am, I cannot be a fan.
   
2. American Idol - if you are a fan of music, do I even have to justify this with any reasoning?
   
3. Precipitation - rain, snow, sleet, hail, and equestrian racing.
   
4. Anna Nicole Smith posthumous press coverage - actually include pre-posthumous press coverage as well. Why was she famous again?
   
5. Phlegm that I cough up that doesn't quite make it out the back of my throat - nasty.
   

...and one thing that is awesome

1. Jewfros - I saw a pair on the T last night and it reinforced how much I respect the young Hebrew community for fighting the man. "Take that Uncle Morty!"
   

I know this may come as a surprise to you bigots, but not all comedians are Jewish

Mission Accomplished?

Considering that this is my second post, you don't know anything about me, and for the most part I plan on keeping it that way. However you will see some biases in my writing, as my raging liberalism will shine through at times. Luckily, I don't always have the time to fire off a rant whenever I get heated, because that shit usually isn't very interesting anyway. That said, I don't feel like slamming the President today. Maybe (definitely) another day.

Fooled You!

Last Friday, the cleaning gentleman in my office wanted to ask me something, so naturally he started with "my friend," which is awesome. I don't know the extent of his skill using the English language, but he clearly prefers to use Spanish, as he asked me if I speak it, which I don't. By using simple English words, gesturing, and some pointing, I was able to assist him with his question. Now that the back story is filled in I can arrive to my point. Do they teach the phrase "my friend" when you apply for a work visa? Pretty much every immigrant worker that I've ever interacted with has used "my friend" on me, and I love it. And the best part is that it is universally used by all nationalities and cultures, with the occasional exception of some Greek workers calling me "boss," which is even more awesome. Some people could see that as being condescending, those people need to lighten up and get the stick out of their ass. I could now easily transition this into a pro-immigration post, but I don't feel like that either.

So, how many of you would say you speak English fairly well, but with some difficulty?

So why am I so generous to give a Presidential pardon and not subject you to my political opinions? Because I am in too good of a mood today. I'm going to Vegas tomorrow and don't feel like getting all deep today. And I wanted to show off my crazy Photoshop skills (see 1st image).

"Wait, George Bush wasn't wearing a Dark Helmet helmet during his Mission Accomplished speech/photo op?"

It's true reader that doesn't exist because I have not advertised this blog anywhere, I am just that good at manipulating AP photos and grainy screen captures while I'm eating lunch.