Friday, February 1, 2008

Oh shit! I forgot...

How embarrassing! A year ago yesterday, terrorists guerrilla marketers placed bombs Lite-Brites featuring the Mooninite characters from the popular cult television program Aqua Teen Hunger Force all over the city of Boston. In a very well thought out plan that was obviously not an overreaction to the colorful but unknown threats, the city shut down bridges and major roadways grinding the traffic in the city to a halt for hours. That was a fun day.

The same guerrilla marketing campaign took place in nine additional major cities, yet Boston was the only one to overreact and thus ended up looking like quite the fool. As expected the city was a little upset that it looked like a chump and naturally decided to sue Turner Broadcasting. Turner settled and all is well. All this over a movie that unfortunately sucked.

Now unlike most residents, I easily understand why everyone hates us. Let's go over my quick checklist:

Awful accent ...pissah
Asshole drivers ...oh yeah
Douchebag sports fans ...check
Cocky and arrogant betcha
Perceived intelligence ...indubitably
Racists ...a stereotype that just won't die

In Boston we love to use the nickname The Hub of the Universe, yet we get all freaked out over some Lite-Brites hanging around our city. Enjoy the next couple days Boston-haters. If the Pats win, we'll all (including me) have to suffer the 19-0 douchebaggery that is sure to follow.

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