Unlike the rest of New England I'm not suicidal, depressed, or even shocked that the Patriots lost the Super Bowl. The simple truth is that the Giants played less shittily and deserved to win. There were some questionable calls early, but the Pats still had three opportunities during the Giants final drive to put the game away. They didn't, so better luck next year. Now everyone needs to shut the fuck up.
I'm not saying this because my team lost. As you can see above I'm mildly affected, if at all. In fact I had a pretty sweet weekend (including last night's festivities). I'm just sick of hearing all the back and forth over the Patriots. There are three camps that contribute to my rage.
1. Pats fans
At this point I literally hate 96% of you. I've said this before, but just because the team you are rooting for is doing well doesn't give you any additional pull or rank in the world of fandom. Quit being such douchenozzles brah.
2. Pats haters
You are equally if not more annoying than Pats fans. 95% of the shit you talk is about how annoying and insufferable Pats fans are, which somehow isn't annoying or insufferable. Thanks for bringing something new to the conversation. Wait, we're racist too? Zing! Please get some new material for next season. Thanks.
3. Media
Week 1-3: Spy(irrelevant suffix)! The Pats are cheaters!
Week 4-playoffs: 18-0 The Pats are the greatest team ever!
Super Bowl: Giants Win??! Biggest upset of all time!
Let's give Mercury Morris some more face time!
You fuckers.
(Bonus)
4. Red Sox fans
You really don't need to start a Yankees Suck chant at little Jimmy's birthday party because one of the 7 year-old kids wore a Yankees hat. It's tired and just sad at this point.
That's all the rage I could fit into a poorly thought out/poorly written post today.
Congratulations again Giants, you earned it.
And if there's a primary in your state tomorrow go vote. I'll definitely have something to say about that shit because it's getting serious.
I'm not saying this because my team lost. As you can see above I'm mildly affected, if at all. In fact I had a pretty sweet weekend (including last night's festivities). I'm just sick of hearing all the back and forth over the Patriots. There are three camps that contribute to my rage.
1. Pats fans
At this point I literally hate 96% of you. I've said this before, but just because the team you are rooting for is doing well doesn't give you any additional pull or rank in the world of fandom. Quit being such douchenozzles brah.
2. Pats haters
You are equally if not more annoying than Pats fans. 95% of the shit you talk is about how annoying and insufferable Pats fans are, which somehow isn't annoying or insufferable. Thanks for bringing something new to the conversation. Wait, we're racist too? Zing! Please get some new material for next season. Thanks.
3. Media
Week 1-3: Spy(irrelevant suffix)! The Pats are cheaters!
Week 4-playoffs: 18-0 The Pats are the greatest team ever!
Super Bowl: Giants Win??! Biggest upset of all time!
Let's give Mercury Morris some more face time!
You fuckers.
(Bonus)
4. Red Sox fans
You really don't need to start a Yankees Suck chant at little Jimmy's birthday party because one of the 7 year-old kids wore a Yankees hat. It's tired and just sad at this point.
That's all the rage I could fit into a poorly thought out/poorly written post today.
Congratulations again Giants, you earned it.
And if there's a primary in your state tomorrow go vote. I'll definitely have something to say about that shit because it's getting serious.
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