Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Steven Seagal: media terrorist?

From Friday's LA Times:

Not long ago, Steven Seagal was one of the best-paid action stars in Hollywood. The martial arts master played crime-busting anti-heroes in films that generated more than $1 billion in ticket and DVD sales during the 1990s.

Now he appears in low-budget productions that go straight to video.

Seagal says he knows why: Five years ago, he was implicated in a plot to frighten two journalists out of writing unflattering stories about him and his former business partner.

An FBI affidavit detailed allegations that Seagal hired private eye Anthony Pellicano to terrorize one of the reporters, a freelancer working for the Los Angeles Times.

The investigation soon changed course, focusing on allegations that Pellicano spied on celebrities and other members of the Hollywood elite. The onetime detective-to-the-stars is in federal prison, awaiting trial on wire-tapping and other charges.

Seagal and the alleged plot to intimidate journalists became a footnote. The actor was never charged, and federal authorities have privately told reporters they have no persuasive evidence against him. But the FBI has never publicly cleared him.

Seagal said the publicity has been devastating to his career. He wants an apology.

"False FBI accusations fueled thousands of articles saying that I terrorize journalists and associate with the Mafia," Seagal, 56, said recently in his first public comments on the case. "These kinds of inflammatory allegations scare studio heads and independent producers -- and kill careers."

Riiiiight... it was the FBI that killed Steven Seagal's career, not the fact that no one wants to see a movie starring an emotionless, overweight, senior citizen take on the People Liberation Army, or whatever Asian military power that's in vogue at the moment. And don't give me any shit about Stallone playing Rambo again, at least the man has emotion. Have you seen the trailer for John Rambo?

Everyone and their great-grandmother has seen the Chuck Norris facts by now. Well I bet you didn't know that there are some Steven Seagal facts. I was able to dig them up from the deepest, darkest corner of the internet and present them to you now.

Fact: Steven Seagal sucks.

Actually, that's all I was able to find. Luckily here is an additional fact that I was able to come up with.

Fact: Of the 32 acting credits that Steven Seagal has on IMDB, 10 of the characters are named John, or a variation of it including Jack and Jonathan.

So just by name alone he is pretty much playing the same character a third of the time. I can't really tell you if he's actually playing the same character, because I never saw a second Steven Seagal movie (I missed Under Siege 2: Railway Boogaloo). But from my only movie experience and seeing various media appearances, I have a pretty good idea that the only character he can play with any skill is Steven Seagal.

Fact: denim isn't just for tuxedos anymore

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